Your Opinion of Me is None of My Business
Thoughts become things, so why not think beautifully?
The original concept for our company name was based on our own experiences, particularly those that either created a negative emotional association in ourselves or conveyed such a feeling to others - doubt, fear, envy/jealousy, lack of confidence, worthiness, deservedness ... the list was endless.
It took a while, but we realised we were spending far too much time and effort attempting to fit into the preconceived notion of what we should be, each time feeling like we were forcibly stuffed into a different pigeon hole designed by somebody else, and that 'somebody' changed with the situation: a family member, a friend, a business colleague, a work supervisor, a bank manager etc.
We knew that we had little capability to convince others to change their thoughts about us, so we decided to stop trying. But we also realised that we were the masters of our own thoughts, that our thoughts were the drivers behind our habits, and that our habits would determine our lives going forward; and, no matter where the negative thoughts originated from, ultimately they were self-destructive and, as the only things within our sphere of control, they needed to be dealt with by us and us alone.
So, individually we set a simple rule for ourselves and started living by it: nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent.
It's truly amazing what can be accomplished when you change the narrative in your own head.
Instead of hearing something negative about yourself and then thinking "That person said that I'm stupid. Maybe they're right?", the whole interaction becomes a process: when someone ... ANYONE questioned our capabilities or made negative comments, instantly the question would form in our minds "How relevant to me is the opinion of this person?"
How do you determine who is relevant, and who isn't? That's as simple as making a list!
Here's and exercise for you:
Get a sheet of paper
Draw a line down the middle, from top to bottom
On one side, at the top, write 'RELEVANT'; on the other side, write 'NOT RELEVANT'
Now think of everyone you know - family, friends, social media contacts, work colleagues, members of your sports club, those people you associate with when you're engaged in hobbies or on the weekend, your barista, your hairdresser etc. - and write each of their names under one of those headings
You now have a tangible artefact that you can refer to each time someone comes to you with a negative comment or opinion.
Someone: "You're an idiot!"
You: [refer to the list, sees this person in the 'NOT RELEVANT' column, smile] "Ok."
The end.
It really is as simple as that. They can carry on, but you're no longer obligated to listen - if the first comment out of their mouth is one of negativity, and their relevance to your life is around 0%, why should you continue listening to them?